Resurrection

This event took place about a month ago in Chicago. I feel that it is time to write about it in order to explain the next story. But first, some more background...

I was born and raised in the United States, along with both my siblings. My parents were born and raised in South Africa and moved to the US over 30 years ago and now have lived there over half their lives. I now live in Ecuador.

A friend of my parents once described Ecuador as "Mexico 30 years ago." But I think he was wrong. I think Ecuador is really South Africa 30 years ago. I returned to what my parents left. It's not just the climate, or the flora, or the lifestyle (i.e., coming home for lunch everyday, walled and gated houses, having indigenous maids, spending half the weekend with your entire extended family, etc.) that is similar. The mythology too.

A disclaimer. I am Jewish. My fiance is Catholic. The six characters in this episode have five (and a half) Bachelor's degrees, speak four (and a half) languages, and have earned three (and a half) Master's degrees. We are a PBS-watching, NPR-listening, National Geographic-reading bunch.

So, last month I was home. The whole family was home. We were eating dinner. We started talking about Easter and Jesus and the resurrection. And just like any good Jewish family during Passover, some of us were confused. Particularly, if he was resurrected, where did he go? Mom knew the answer. She always knows the answer, she's a teacher. Anyway, Mom said with an absolute straight face, that after he was resurrected, "Jesus went to Japan."

At this point my sister, brother, and I are laughing so hard that we are gasping for air. Japan? Really? You've got to be kidding me. But Dad, who also always seems to know the answer to everything, set the record straight. "Irene," he said in a how can you think something so absurd kind of voice, like what you would use to tell a child that there are still no monsters under the bed because we just checked for the millionth time, "Jesus did not go Japan. He went to India."

Now we aren't just gasping for air, we are almost crying, hyperventilating, in need of medical attention. It was like a David Sedaris story. We eventually catch our breath and my brother does something interesting. He takes out his Blackberry, makes a call, and just says into his phone, "Did Jesus go to Japan?". Who did he call? What was he doing?

He had called a service that answers questions. It's free. Apparently you call and leave a voicemail with your question. They send back your question in the form of a text message to make sure it is correct. Then a few minutes later, send a text with the answer.

We wait. The text arrives. It says that it is possible that Jesus went to Japan, however it cannot be confirmed because that was 2000 years ago. Case closed.

That evening I talk to Carlos, who is in Ecuador. I tell him what happened at dinner, trying to give him an honest idea of what he will be marrying into. His response? How ridiculous. How could you even think that Jesus went to Japan or India. That's absurd.

Jesus went to Mexico.

Or at least there were rumors that he visited. Ruins were found with drawings of a man with a beard. But the Aztecs and Mayans didn't have beards.

So, the first instance of my parents having more in common with my fiance than with me: They all believe that Jesus was a backpacker.